Thursday 5 March 2009

ink marks on a blank page 6th March

As a bloke there are many of lifes mysteries that are denied me, one major one is the ability to understand women speak. I refer to the oblique way women have of conveying multiple messages in a short sentence like " I am going into the city for a few things" At chez robbi that can mean,'when I'm gone you will have time to vacuum the house' or "I wont be long so you could wash the windows", "And seeing I shall be exhausted from traipsing around the shops looking at stuff we don't need , I shall want you to cook dinner"
There are other little quirks of life that elude me as well. I travel a little and when flying normally cannot open those little butter /jam/condiment doohickies, why? Could this be a bloke thing or am I just one of the poor unfortunates who bumble through life spearing themselves with the tin-opener or splashing sauce all over self.
We had some budget type airlines come here and they don't serve a meal so I thought to save myself embarrassment I would fly with them. Flew back from my destination on a regular ,we serve you a meal you can't eat airline ,as the budget one had seats so close together I couldn't move. This am I read the encoded message well , so prepared to clean the charcoal grill but one little device tricked me.As she left to swan off to the city the last remark was " I left a new packet of barbque wipes on the sink to clean off the residue, a brand new pack so use as many as you want" Folks, do you think I could find just how to open the darn thing, took me all of ten minutes to figure just how it was done. Oh sorry me for when I did finally open the blessed little pack, I almost wept with the frustration of it all.
Then there is me saying" Just where is that set of things?" "In the cupboard" floats back. Yes I know that the'things' will be in the cupboard, but which one for goodnes sake. Yes I admit it, I lose my car keys and my glasses ALL the time , but surely that isn't just a man thing.
Got you there though, I CAN read maps, and when in foreign climes once you take me to a spot then I can always find my way back. Of course that is a fantastic party trick if one wants to walk around in ever decreasing circles, but nobody is perfect.

Never ever been good with working out dates either, some folk can say just from the top of their pointy head. "Oh the 25th, that's a Friday isn't it, not a problem just switch the meeting date to Tuesday which is the 29th" I would have to have a calendar in front of me and a pencil to mark in the date. Also I have a problem or three when typing, for some reason that just rattles past my cage in a flurry I tend not to space between words a's that I write, that is I hang ana on the back of words, then continually have to stop and respace the a in a sentence, already done it 9 times this para. At least if I write to you but forget to sign my name, as at times do, you will then know for certain that the letter comes from me. Should have said a missive contain begging requests for large sums of money then it most definitely would have eminated from this keyboard, money orders are better than cash so run on down to the nearest Western Union and fire some off, you have the address.
Another 'thing' falls to mind about one, can be a trifle absent minded at times. Once someone said that my brain reacts faster than I can think, perhaps that isn't quite correct as I do forget exactly what he said but that sounds almost right. He was testing me for a resume that I was to write in application for a job. Can't quite remember what his job description was but he wrote some very nice things about me that was in part one of the prime reasons I got the position. No, I do not think that his rather large fee that I paid in cash was any reason he wrote glowingly about my prospects, and I could show you my test results to back that up if I could only find them.

Sorry Hortense, feeling a little left out are we? Yes I have sort of rattled on about self, it was all me me me. Perhaps my introspection comes from that birthday I have looming, although my age is not something that figures largely in my daily ruminations.
Age must figure in the machinations in our esteemed Federal Education Minister's mind though. The largess that she is handing out a la those cash grants to schools has to be accompanied by a suitable plaque on the wall of the building that it has funded, extolling the virtues in part of the Education Minister come par excellence Julia Gillard. There is no nepotism in this Federal Government as well, although the hairdresser fellow who lives with , and is the boyfriend of, our Education Minister got a paid gong on a Government board. Yes Hortense I take your point, he would be good at sharpening scissors, they would come in very handy for stabbing ones opponents in the back wouldn't they, wonder if Julia knows that?

Well what I do know Hortense old love is that it be YOUR birthday Saturday and we shall sup well on cocolat...yea har!!

1 comment:

Jannie Funster said...

I guess you could've just used some scissors to open the wipes, but then again, men usually don't know where the scissors are, eh? But congrats on getting the best of the packet!

My first impulse if an idiot savant who can work out dates like that - probably can't tie his own shoes.

Typos, please, I never ever type teh, liek, etc, correct. Ever. Spend half my computer tiem correcting them.

Good to see Western Union is alive and well the world over.

And what the hell's a "paid gong?"

xo

Please, pleae be careful with the tin opener. And the sharp lids.